October 3, 2006...9:52 am

Ouch

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I’ve been awake since 5:45. I lay in bed, wrapped up, trying to sleep, relax, breathe, let go but I couldn’t get my thoughts to stop.

My stomach feels sick. Like there’s a hollow place that needs to be filled and not with food or drink. I take deep breaths and blink my eyes.

My mouth has that sick-in-bed-all-day funky taste that doesn’t go away even after you brush your teeth.

And my damn heart hurts. I think of tearing it out and leaving it behind. Just give it away. Because there must be some way to say goodbye that doesn’t hurt like this.

1 Comment

  • I wish i didn’t know how you felt but i do… and i’m so sorry that you ‘re feeling that way, sweetie…

    Actually, scratch previous wish. What I wish i knew is how to ease the fucking pain.

    Yes, that’s what i wish.

    Yes.


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