Seven Things

1. Jack and I spent three hours in the ER last Sunday getting his chin stitched up after he smashed his face into the jungle gym. It was Power Ranger related.
2. My mom the nurse is taking the stitches out today. In a couple hours.
3. The boys are with their dad and stepmother and new* [...]

Alrighty, Bruce

Wow, this morning I woke up from a dream in which I was kneeling in front of Bruce Willis (wtf?). Not the blond, Fifth Element Bruce, but the bald, infinitely hotter and sweaty Armageddon one.
Again I say, WTF?
Right, so he was naked and maybe so was I, and it was clear that I was about [...]

Three R’s

This morning, Miles was getting dressed and I was reviewing proper handwashing technique with Jack.
“Get your hands wet, pump the soap and get it bubbly. Spread the bubbles all over your hands . . .”
“Between my fingers, too, right, Momma?”
“Right, between your fingers, too. Then start singing the ABC song.”
“Then I rinse and dry with [...]

“I Know All the Words to Every Charlie Daniels Song”

Someone’s mother commented a few weeks back about how I am like part of the family, because I’m a redneck, too.
She said this as a compliment, and I took it as one. Because, while I am not a “Redneck Woman,” I certainly live in that part of the country where one is more likely to [...]

Cinco de Mayo

Last night I set some kind of record, I’m sure. Puppy sitting for my parents, I had the luxury 0f eight million satellite channels, a 62-inch flatscreen DLP TV and full control of the remotes.
I watched movies.
The boys and I watched The Nightmare Before Christmas, which they loved and then fell asleep on the couch. [...]

My Favorite Snarks

For the up-to-the-minute breaking political news reported in a fabulously sardonic tone, but also for the deft use of tags and archives. It’s like they were librarians or some shit over there!
Scan the dozen or so posts tagged Tim Johnson (remember that Dem senator from SD who had a stroke and stuff?) over at Wonkette [...]

mama said knock you out

Last night at Tae Kwon Do I was throwing some badass punches.
Master Kim goes around the room and holds his hand in front of students while we’re doing sets of ten punches. I was the last one he came to. So I punched: 123456789hah. Like that. Again and again.
Maybe it was because my kids were [...]