Monthly Archives: October 2006

Church Mouse

Yeah, that’s me.

Here is my hope for the coming year: That my former husband will somehow realize that rent is due on the first and Late. On. The. Fifth. That means a Late Fee is incurred on the sixth.

Can I mention as well that the same holds true for Daycare Tuition?

Man, if he could just understand that aspect of adult living, life would be grand.

Check’s in the mail. Because apparently it didn’t make sense to leave one when he was Here Visiting on October First.

Add $125.00 in fees to that, sweetheart.

Feh.

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Filed under Divorce, Frustration

Crawling Through

You know the feeling when you’re skin to skin with someone and you’re not close enough? The feeling that you want to forge your bodies together like steel, strong and impervious against the elements? You know that feeling?
I’m not talking about fucking.

I’m talking about lying together kissing, touching, hands traveling, breath catching, lips sucking, noses tracing making out. And you have this feeling that you want to be one person together. And you hold tightly to them and you will this thought–this wish–to be granted by the universe.

You can’t verbalize it. So you shut your eyes tightly and you wish it.

Sometimes you’re lucky. Sometimes you’re with that person and they’re making the same wish.

And sometimes you’re already the same person. You just inhabit two earthly bodies.

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Filed under Love, New York, Writing

Ouch

I’ve been awake since 5:45. I lay in bed, wrapped up, trying to sleep, relax, breathe, let go but I couldn’t get my thoughts to stop.

My stomach feels sick. Like there’s a hollow place that needs to be filled and not with food or drink. I take deep breaths and blink my eyes.

My mouth has that sick-in-bed-all-day funky taste that doesn’t go away even after you brush your teeth.

And my damn heart hurts. I think of tearing it out and leaving it behind. Just give it away. Because there must be some way to say goodbye that doesn’t hurt like this.

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Filed under Love, New York

Japanese Girlfriend

So I’ve been wearing my “Looking for a Japanese Girlfriend” t-shirt whilst in NYC this weekend. People have been drawn to it, therefore staring at my chest because as Viviane pointed out today at lunch, there’s a big pink circle right between my breasts. So, yeah, it’s pretty bold.

japanese_girlfriend_shirt_67_small1.jpg

But this afternoon, after buying gifts at Strand and walking back to the apartment wearing the t-shirt and a grey skirt, a Japanese girl walked past, looked over . . . and smiled.

And that was pretty great.

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Filed under New York

Babeland

We walked into the Mercer Street Babeland today so I could replace my Dynamic Duo and the Babelander at the counter greeted me with a big smile and eye contact. Then she came over when I had a question about slappers. Then I told her what I’d come for. She said, “I recognize you. I sold you one of these before, like, a year ago.”

And I was like, “Damn.”

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Filed under New York