Monthly Archives: October 2007

Today I met my mother for coffee. It was Starbucks’ coffee, at the SuperTarget in my city, and since I had to go to Target and get the final details for the boys’ costumes, it was basically a “we’re both going to be there, so why not do our shopping together” sort of thing.

I had largely forgiven her for her “I have a question; where exactly do you stand with all the people you are seeing?” infraction from last week. Seriously, WTF? Just to be clear, I was appropriately deferent and basically said, “That’s none of your damn business.” Sheesh.

She didn’t ask any probing questions this morning, and shopping at UberTarget commenced as we sipped our Grande Pumpkin Spice Lattes (two pumps, thanks), and later had Tomato Basil Bisques at some lunch spot, after I’d procured the appropriate skeleton hand gloves for Miles’ Halloween costume.

Several IMs into our lunch, she asked who I was talking with.



And that was that.

But imagine getting an IM from Kelly asking if he could “finger your pussy and your ass simultaneously” when you met on Friday and you’ll understand my predicament.

Cut to the Used Furniture Store 30 minutes later when (without my mom) I answered Kelly’s phone call and stated my great desire to suck his cock, peppered with my descriptions of the huge dresser with the huge mirror which I thought would look spectacular in my bedroom, let alone the amount of free space it would give me, to which he replied, “sounds great, how big is the mirror again?”

It’s being delivered Wednesday.

He’ll be here on Friday.

I sort of can’t wait to prop myself up on pillows so I can watch him do naughty things to me.

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Filed under Dating, Fuckbuddies, Stories

Glossing Over

It’s Autumn!


I mean, I love hot weather, don’t misunderstand, but I love, love, love it when the air turns chilly and I have to put the downy duvet back on the bed.

(Also, I really prefer jerking off with a cover of some sort. I think it may have to do with muffling the sounds of my battery-powered fuckbots, but even when I’m home alone, give me a sheet, even, and I’m much happier.)

In celebration of Autumn, I bought new lipgloss: Maybelline’s shiny*licious in Chocolate Cherry. Unnnnnnhmygod, it is the perfect color, and not sticky. Like, my chin-length hair doesn’t get caught on my mouth when the slightest wind blows. It makes my lips shiny and looking like they aren’t wearing anything. Just how I like it.

So, this morning, after I took the kids to school in chilly 40-degree temps, Kelly brought me coffee. 40 minutes later he was out the door on his way to an all-morning meeting and I was pulling on my shirt, leggings and big writerly cardigan. I walked past my dresser and saw my new lipgloss. “Mmm,” I thought, “my lips are a bit dry.” So I slicked it on, stepped back and stared in wonder.

Do you know what 40 minutes of cocksucking does to a pair of lips like mine? Not to mention topping them with chocolate cherries (By the way, it SMELLS like chocolate!)? I’m talking beestung, man.


I may actually use up the entire tube of this stuff, and that never happens. Now, if I can only figure out a way to keep these lips full all day long which doesn’t involve periodically producing a dildo from my purse…



Filed under Fuckbuddies, Girldom


it’s fall today. like, maybe the temperature hit 65 degrees. i had to put on a sweater inside and i had soup for dinner and hot tea, too.

makes me want to knit. unfortunately, i have a mondo deadline and i’m scarily unmotivated.

going to have a busy next two weeks with a little friend i like to call “office suite for mac.”

oh, and funny thing: miles was in the shower last night and when i handed him the towel, he pointed to the corner of the tub, saying, “make sure jack knows that his supplies are there.”

supplies=body wash, shampoo, (my) crushed almond scrub and (my) coconut milk face wash. i’m surprised the dude didn’t come out with a towel turban and cucumber slices over his eyes. seriously, he’s seven.

last week i overheard him explaining to jack the intricacies of shower pouf vs washcloth while they were standing naked in the tub during the switching-of-the-kid.

i can’t believe tomorrow’s effing thursday. shit.


Filed under Kids, Stories, Writing


Can’t get this song out of my head.

I mean, gah.

“We’ll design a clever disguise/Or retreat to the bottom of the sea/We were destined to live out our lives/Underwater, you and me.”

Somebody pass me my EmoCon name tag.


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Filed under Music

Guth. Guthier. Guthiest.

I bet you didn’t even notice I was gone, did you?

For eighteen hours I took up residence in Chicago, one of my favorite cities. Sixteen of those were spent in the company of Kelly, a boy I haven’t told you about, but whom I like immensely, at a swanky hotel near Water Tower Place. The remaining two were spent at the Argo Tea Cafe with the ginormously funny and cool Amy Guth.

We sat outside on a beautiful, sunny day and traded stories of cats and dogs, siblings and well, the things that kids do and say. It will be a while before I can hear “vagina” and not scream in a fit of laughter. Seriously, it’s good we were outside, because we have very similar laughs: a hearty “HAAA!” followed by peals of giggles.

It was great fun, and I thank her for taking the time to meet up. Next time I’m in town, the tea will be replaced with respectable amounts of wine. Think about it, Guthieroo: When we’re old ladies in Boca and we want to get the gang together to play mah jonng, it can be a three drink minimum and then all the altecockers will get ripped and then everyone gets laid. The end.


Filed under Blogging, Friends, Girldom

Toast from the New York Times – Slashfood

Oh, my goodness.

Have I mentioned that I’m off yeast and gluten, which means no yummy toast? (Note that I said “yummy,” because as near as I can tell, the yeast-free, gluten-free rice flour “bread” I broke down and bought because it was just too painful to be without toast? SO not toastable. Also, it tastes like vinegar. Blech. Bring back my whole wheat.) So sad.


However, I am a giver, and so I give you this awesome piece of shiny kitchen delightfulness: The NYT Toaster! Imagine! Sitting in your pjs doing the crossword while eating toast emblazoned with the instantly recognizable T from the logo!

Would-be over-the-shoulder-puzzle-helpers won’t even try to crowd in on your Acrosses and Downs, ur so smrt, obvs.

Toast from the New York Times – Slashfood

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Filed under Blogging, Cooking, Food, Toast