Monthly Archives: July 2008

Up To


I love my coffeemaker. I’m so glad Kelly finally got me to buy it (and it was on sale, so yay.) Also, I got a reusable filter so all you greenies can relax. Pshaw, for serious, did you think I wouldn’t? I recycle. Hell, I compost, bitches. Yay for compostable coffee grounds and yay for coffee in 30 seconds. Yay for the best of both worlds.

Vix and I have decided that, from time to time, repeating something that someone’s just said, but repeating it ghetto is very funny. Like, if I go to Target and my total is 87.13, and the cashier says “your total is 87.13,” I then say, “Aw, yeah, Ehteh-sevuhn-thuh-TAYN! Mmm-hmm…” It’s sort of ridiculous, but it makes laugh and think of ANTM when the models get all up in each other’s faces and heads start to tilt and fingers wag. Because, you know, they’re from the streets and they don’t take disrespect from nobody. Oh, models, you make me smile.

My house is clean and staying that way. I like it. Then I feel guilty because the reason it’s clean is that I’m here without kids. Yesterday I turned on Ben 10-Alien Force just to hear the theme song.

Spanked is out and I received my author’s copies in the mail this week. It is pretty and there’s gonna be a virtual book tour and author interviews, so add it to your feeds.

Kelly comes back from Europe this weekend and will spend many uninterrupted hours here. I am excited about this, and even though I accidentally outed myself (and the blogging thing) to him, he’s sweet and cool and sort of titillated by the whole thing. I sort of can’t wait to get my hands on him. 

So, that’s mostly it. I’m being tres productive and doing some cool stuff. I think I’ll have some more coffee.

1 Comment

Filed under Stories


It’s twelve hours since I got the phone call from my mom. 

At first I let it go to voicemail, because I was in a noisy restaurant bar with Reece, but she called right back. And told me that my children were still waiting for their father to collect them from the airport. An hour after they’d landed and Miles called me like I’d asked.

Right, so, of course I freaked out, called my ex (no answer, no surprise), called his wife (also no answer), and phoned Miles’ cell (yes, he’s nearly eight and I got him a cell phone… thank goodness.) Reece gave me her phone since my battery was dying and I still hadn’t heard anything except that Daniel’s car broke down on the drive to the airport. Ugh.

I spoke with the airline rep waiting with them, apologized, and asked her to find them something to eat, since it was seven o’clock and they’d eaten lunch at one. 

I called later, after a few vodka crans and Miles said they were at Daniel’s house. Good. But I didn’t speak to Daniel, because nails don’t spit well over the phone. 

On the up, I stopped at a Linens-N-Things on the way home from the airport. It’s one of the ones that’s closing, and I wondered if I could be so lucky as to find the coffeemaker I want on sale. And I did, so now I have a brand-new Keurig in my kitchen, replacing the ancient Krups that always spattered and scalded me and took ten minutes to brew a cup of organic.

Try 30 seconds, motherfuckers.

And I shall be productive today, and I shall not lose my temper with my ex. And I shall clean the shit out of my house, and it shall stay like that because there is no one here to mess it up. Sad face.

1 Comment

Filed under Frustration, Kids, Parenting