Category Archives: Flirting

Wanton

So I’m at services tonight (wearing all white, thanks) and  gorgeous tall man is sitting a row behind me and four seats over.  Swoonage.

I’m trying hard to focus on things. cos g-d knows I’ve got what to atone for.

We stand for the Al Het, when we enumerate all 44 types of transgressions we may have committed in the past year and I glance over my shoulder.

He winks at me.

Eeeps. I grin and my stomach does little flips.

Then we get to the part of the Al Het where it goes (in the New Machzor) “For the sins we have committed with wanton glances” and I cringe a little bit.

But then I sort of smile to myself.

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Filed under Flirting, Jewish, Stories, Yom Kippur

Mad Happy Dance!

My babies come home tomorrow!

I’ve missed them terribly, but I’ve also really enjoyed the last three weeks of relative solace. It’s strange to be suddenly free of direct parental responsibility and able to do Whatever I Want.

Some highlights: A pool party at Joe’s house (he invited me as his co-host…eep). Thomas’ first overnight in my new house. My friend Aaron from LA coming to town, which was at once hell damn fun (Simpsons movie, midnight burritos and hilarity) and strained (awkward sex moments which pissed me off and reminded me why I’m always a little cautious with my emotions when we’re together). It worked itself out in the end, though, so that’s good. And a semi-new lad whom I’ve yet to blog, but who seems to be sticking around for a good while, so more news when I’m caught up with other stuff.

Like, did you know, I have a DOG?

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He is awesome, and I can’t believe that some dumbass person just left him for whatever reason. He was waiting for me at the Humane Society last Saturday and after a few baths and a clip he is sweet and gorgeous. And big. Because little dogs bug me. He’s a Standard Poodle and his head comes to my waist and his name is Churchill.

So, he has an allover afro, because I don’t rock that whole foo-foo Poodle cut. Also, check the Paul Smith-esque collar and lead. Aw, yeah, when we go walking, heads turn at the hottness.

So, boys! Dog! House with a yard! Which I MOW! With my push reel, Norman Rockwell blade-type mower! It’s almost too much, right? Your brain is reeling, yeah? Mine, too.

Finally, last night I was out with friends at a local bar where I sweetly requested a bourbon on the rocks, “But, like, really small rocks, like pebbles, really. Bourbon on the Pebbles.” The bartender looked at my cleavage, smirked over his soul patch and drawled, “Aiight, darlin’.”

This is what he poured me.

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I believe I will be paying another visit to Soul Patch Boy, whose real name is Walker. Gotta love a dude who was named after a whiskey. (Hopefully he wasn’t named after the Texas Ranger, though if it yields me cheap, strong drinks and free pool, I really don’t care. Chuck Norris is a badass.)

I also believe that I am a much better pool player when my props are the above glass and a pool cue which I semi-consciously kept caressing like a you-know-what.

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Filed under Flirting, Kids, Quiet, Stories

Service

I love going to get my car serviced. The guy behind the counter tells me to get the basic oil change, he’ll throw in the extras at no cost.

So I got my oil changed, new air filter and fluids filled, interior vacuumed and dash cleaned for 21 bucks.

And the woman with the long hair and bad attitude at the counter when I picked up my keys just sort of glared as he checked me out.

I mean, as he took my money.

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Filed under Cars, Flirting, Girldom, Uncategorized