Category Archives: Uncategorized

Ah, Crap.

Oh my dog, I am such a sap.

I just ordered the DVD.


Filed under Stories, Uncategorized



This. Country Pumpkin Butter. On a poppyseed bagel.

Lightly spread over the cream cheese.

Can’t talk.

Tongue exploding.

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Toasted Marshmallow Jelly Bellies







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“Math Test. Oh, No.”

Miles: Jack, remember that flying beautiful creature? Well, at the end, the kid wished for him and remember those dummy kids from the beginning? Well, they fell into a dumpster!


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I love going to get my car serviced. The guy behind the counter tells me to get the basic oil change, he’ll throw in the extras at no cost.

So I got my oil changed, new air filter and fluids filled, interior vacuumed and dash cleaned for 21 bucks.

And the woman with the long hair and bad attitude at the counter when I picked up my keys just sort of glared as he checked me out.

I mean, as he took my money.

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Filed under Cars, Flirting, Girldom, Uncategorized


It’s not often that my feelings get hurt.

But today they were.

Because I’m not demanding. Because I don’t stick my foot in doors. Because, while I’ll say what I think, I will always do it tactfully and at the proper time.

Because I am flexible and easygoing.

Except when something is important to me. When plans have been made. And people expect that I will be cool with changing them and they make new plans and I feel like I don’t matter.

Because I am not pushy.

And. That. Hurts. Me.

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Filed under Frustration, Uncategorized


Can I just say that trying to schedule school drop-offs, house cleaning, an IM interview, a new massage client and a sex date before I leave town for two days is like, torture?

I need more coffee.

Pray for me, people. I’m going to the land of “Where you at?”

Good news is: I finished the Clapotis a couple of weeks ago, knitted some lovely handwarmers and a top-down raglan sweater for Miles, using no pattern. Yeah, bitches, I totally winged it.

Okay, it’s going to fit Jack. But now I can start on Miles’ and just make it way the hell bigger. Something to do while I try to remain calm in the face of so many grammatical errors.

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When you put chicken, onion, garlic, celery and carrots in a Crock Pot and add water, salt and pepper it is going to start smelling really good in your house.

If you remember to plug the goddamned thing in.

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Good Call

So, Sam. I’m in town for the game. Actually, Colton and I are in town for the game.

Colton? Man, I haven’t seen that guy in years.

I know. So, can we see you sometime? Can you get away?

Yeah, I might be able to swing it later tonight. I’d love to see you.

Awesome. Call me later.

Sure. . . Uh, Madeline?


Are you and Colton hooking up?


Colton: Yes! Yes we are, dammit!

(I love how cell phone earpieces just project so well in a car)

No, really, we’re not.

Colton laughs, gets out of the parked car and puts money in the meter.

Seriously, Maddie, I wouldn’t travel as far as he did just to watch a football game.

Sam, seriously, do not have this conversation with me. I am not sleeping with Colton and it’s my second straight day without an orgasm, so please stop talking about sex.

Two days? That’s not very long.

For me it is.

I love you.

Love you, too, baby. Come drink with us later. Bring a friend.

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Jordan just IMmed me.

She passed the bar exam.

I never thought I’d be happy to have another lawyer walking the earth, but she’s such a good person and she has a conscience.
Plus, she looks killer in a suit.

Man, I miss that girl.

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