Mad Kids

 Jack: I don’t know if I’m supposed to marry you or not.

Me: Maybe you’ll marry Abby Kissy-Lips from school.

Jack: I will not. Can boys marry boys?

Me: Which boy would you marry?

Jack: Collie. At the lake.

———————

Jack: Momma, I wish I was a Power Ranger.

Me: What would you do if you were?

Jack: I’d help people.

Me: Help them do what?

Jack: Fight the bobcats.

———————

Jack: Momma, does Sidney (their hamster) have a bagina?

Me: She is a girl hamster, so I suppose she does.

Jack: Where is it?

Miles: It’s probably too inappropriate to see.

———————

Miles: Jack, you watch the movie. I want to sit next to Momma and watch her work and just chit-chat with her for a little while.

———————-

Miles: Jack, let me tell you something I learned a long time ago when I was three.

Jack: What?

Miles: You can’t always get what you want. But sometimes, you get what you need.

——————

While watching a movie and lying together in the living room:

Miles: Jack, I’m sorry I take up so much space on the futon; that’s just how big I am.

Jack: (sigh) I know.

————————-

Miles: Raise your hand if you wish Momma wasn’t sick so you could hug her!

————————-

Jack: I think that pepperoni pizza and Jolly Ranchers are just the best tastes I’ve ever tasted! In my opinion.

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