Jack: I don’t know if I’m supposed to marry you or not.
Me: Maybe you’ll marry Abby Kissy-Lips from school.
Jack: I will not. Can boys marry boys?
Me: Which boy would you marry?
Jack: Collie. At the lake.
Jack: Momma, I wish I was a Power Ranger.
Me: What would you do if you were?
Jack: I’d help people.
Me: Help them do what?
Jack: Fight the bobcats.
Jack: Momma, does Sidney (their hamster) have a bagina?
Me: She is a girl hamster, so I suppose she does.
Jack: Where is it?
Miles: It’s probably too inappropriate to see.
Miles: Jack, you watch the movie. I want to sit next to Momma and watch her work and just chit-chat with her for a little while.
Miles: Jack, let me tell you something I learned a long time ago when I was three.
Miles: You can’t always get what you want. But sometimes, you get what you need.
While watching a movie and lying together in the living room:
Miles: Jack, I’m sorry I take up so much space on the futon; that’s just how big I am.
Jack: (sigh) I know.
Miles: Raise your hand if you wish Momma wasn’t sick so you could hug her!
Jack: I think that pepperoni pizza and Jolly Ranchers are just the best tastes I’ve ever tasted! In my opinion.